drunken story

A DRUNKEN STORY

Ten days before  SAJI’S Marriage we decided to have a party with “SETHUETTAN” in Chennai. I never had a chance to drink with him only heard the great saga of his drinking skills and enormous capacity he has. And we know the marriage is like a new year we will make lot of pledges , I will not drink after this, I will not smoke after this , I will be like this I will be like that etc etc. (sorry to say but in many cases I know the intensity has increased after marriage)

            SETHUETTAN came with one of his room mates BILESH who used to be our cricket mate. by the Indian tradition its not good to go in a group of three for holy events. We four reached Chennai central and came to the destination B……..A……..R (beeeeeeeeeer) we made the traditional NAMASTHE to the board and got inside to the AC section (you are going to have SOMRAS, drink of gods so drink like gods). Nice bar, we ordered SIGNATURE whisky (how will you know when you reach the limit while having signature? Simple you will start to put your signature on the floor or table with your Tung)

            Got the bottle and the mix. Nice octagonal bottle with thin neck was gaping at us with a teasing smile. Golden and dark green labels on it made her looks more beautiful than she actually was. We had given the slight bow , the deserved respect for the devotional drink. The suit itself was nicely built with dark atmosphere. most of the barS I had been were made dark the idea behind it is still unknown for me. But it will make you feel talk very free with your co. much relaxed….Suit was good enough for four and the blinking lights reminded some old action Malayalam movies where Jose Prakash and jayan were dancing with item girls.

            While drinking you will never run out of topics. And if you are a phone pro, you can never reduce your bill. Some times discussion can go in solving all the issues in the world. Many times I found in many BARS many people who can make our country NO 1 in the world with their rare ideas. You just need to find the right drunkard and assign the right post in the cabinet and allow them to implement their thoughts. Most important thing never allows them to take any decision till noon time ( in other words never allow them to take any decision when they are not drunk). Once in one bar I met a guy who scientifically explained how we can fill the ozone holes. I was also drunk so it appeared to me fabulous idea. He should have given the Nobel Prize straight away.

            Back to us, we started, one passed two passed three passed topics were flowing and I was afraid the time might not be enough to finish all. After the fourth large, BILESH’s face changed, voice increased and we three became silent gaping at him.

 He said pointing saji and me “I hate you guys you spoiled my name in meppayil I hate you”

We realized he started to make his signature and it is really interesting to see others drunken when you are not.

 SETHUETTAN asked politely leaning forward tapping on BILESH’s back slightly with right hand,

“ hey what is the matter? What happened to you?” I am pretty sure there was a little bit teasing smell in that question

Then BILESH started his heart touching sad story holding the glowing whisky glass in right hand, shaking his head and eyes pointed far away….

“ I was the best bowler in meppayil everybody respected my pace my accuracy more over my wicket taking skill but these guys crumbled my dignity by hitting consecutive sixes. They demolished my reputation I hate them….

The volcano burst out and burst out so seriously….. hmmmm  we had a subject to laugh

Why didn’t you try to go for a Yorker? SETHUETTAN asked wearing a very serious expression on his face

“but the first six I got was in a Yorker, he stepped out and hit over my head” I hate them I hate them” he nodded

“Oh sad so you should have tried to go for a short pitched bowl keeping the ball like this and cutting in to the body, or a beamer or a body line”…suggested SETHUETTAN even more seriously showing how to keep the ball and the action

BILESH replied shaking his head , SETHUETAA  you are not understanding, we can try all such things to class batsmen, these guys are just attacking wild, no class no techniques just hit and hit no respect for the game”

He continued, don’t you believe me? Ok I will call a fellow player

He picked the phone and dialed to trivandum

Tring tring….. tring tring……. Hello

Da you remember the guys hit us for six?

What?????

Don’t you remember in meppayil when we were playing…..?

Cut the call you bloody, you called me now to ask about this????

 !@#$#@%^&* (considering the ladies and gentlemen reading this article’,this part has been sencered by the author)

Any way to share his feeling we moved to the fifth round

SETHUETTAN was drinking like some very natural thing happening like blinking the eye or breathing something like that. First the alcohol then some water the mixing will be done inside…

We three continued to talk and at one point of time we found the cricketer dead and made his signature. I reached my limit and I put the glass upside down. Symbolic representation of I am retiring. I didn’t want to show my capacity by having more; you know it is very hard to drink alcohol and why to waste all the hard work you have done by vomiting???? Saji and SETHUETTAN continued to two more

I already started to see everything as in AVTAR the 3D movie.

Finally we came out of that splendid BAR, SETHUETTAN asked us to catch an auto not to ride the bike back

What????? Are you questioning our capacity??? Credibility???? Confidence???? Skill???? NOOOOOO we will ride back …..no question of auto

Ok said SETHUETTAN with a teasing smile and he took the dead body in an auto and went back to his room.

As we passed around 2 minutes we realized that this ride not going to be smooth, we are not perfectly under control. In fact not under control at all.Ok let us go very slow said saji because if some accident happens it will be great shame for us our reputation and the capacity will be questioned. What will the people think??? Let us keep it between us and proceed sloooooowwwww……

20 km/hr was the upper most limit we set still SOMRAS the drink of the gods cheated us. It was a small hump (I strongly believe something has to be done about these humps on the road. lot of humps then zebra lines then yellow lines then traffic signal too much headaches) front tire went smoothly and back tire didn’t. We fell near adayar. Lucky that no one was around  . Saji resisted the falling with his hands leaving scar on his inner palm. Stupid guy how can he eat something tomarrow? It will be great pain if it touches with MASALA and CURRIES. I intelligently used my face rather than using hands to block. Ok I got big scratch on my eye brow and cheek but I can eat with my hands tomorrow and secondly I can reduce my glamour all I decided in that fraction before my face touching the road.

We looked each other and continued back to the flat. Only next day we realized the souvenir of the last night and it was not brilliant idea to use the face, there was no conscious to use the hands.

Anyway thanks for the football we put the scar on it. Some question arose how we can get the scratch together since we play in the same team….. Well there is no question in the world a KADATHANADAN can’t answer………

Drinking kills, at least it will make you a scar face on your  friend’s marriage day

accident story

CAUTION:

            “All characters and incidents narrated in this story are not fictitious. Any resembles with any person dead or alive are not coincidental it is purely intentional. If some one feels hurt with this story….it is not my problem and I just don’t care”

- SALINLAL SURESHAN NAMBIAR  (HUMBLY)

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ACCIDENT

His shivering thin body was bleeding heavily and he was almost unconscious. His head was in my lap and legs were in balu’s. I felt the warmth of his blood on my palm; it was Muhammad Rafi our mate in college and NCC who was hit by a quails less than five minutes ago. While we were on the way to the hospital he was talking a lot, was he talking about death? Yes he was, was he talking about exam? Yes he was. He even talked about his favorite dancer student and he talked about that thin gujju girl whom he was trying to make an affair, we were trying to answer for every question just to make ourselves belief that “we still have him”

I could feel his fast beats in my palm I tried to give some water taken from the family in the car. Now I saw the amount of blood in my palm which was under his head, bad thoughts started to build up very badly. It is a fact of life “we have to be the hosts for unwanted guests for most of our life”. Balu was cleaning the wounds and I was able to see the different layers of his skin. His normal fair skin and close to it the white where the upper layer of the skin was sliced away on the road and the wounded third part filled with blood some parts the fair skin became dark brown and rolled back as a result of the scratch. His pants and t shirt were torn almost every where. Was it a co incidence or not, he was wearing a red t shirt on that day. Truly exhausting in that small cab with so many people with lot of advises and the smell of fresh blood….

It was a small shabby looking hospital like some small village office. We put him on the roller stretcher and ran to the causality, we didn’t take help from the attenders/ the doctor was ready there to attend him and we are out. Balu and I were looking each other, there was nothing in words to exchange, and we both were in deep melancholy. Not even in our rage thoughts before 20 minutes we imagined to hold our friends blood on ourselves and to push him to the causality and to wait nervously outside like this. We didn’t have any idea what was happening just one meter away from us separated by a wide aluminum bordered wooden door.

THE doctor asked for the blood and balu’s blood matched. He went inside and I was left outside by the time mammali and asif reached along with the girls.

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Exactly ninety minutes back we the group of 9 (including 4 girls) left SHamlaji temple in Gujarat and decided to walk back to the NCC camp where we were accommodated around 4 KM away. Was a fine day and a day off for us. Since it was the last year of our college life we were enjoying the camp the most. The 1 kerala artillery battery NCC was dominating the camp in all sense and non sense. So it was easy for us to get permission to go outside to the temple. Any way we have to start to give everything to the god ….. Annual exams are not so far away.

We walked through that express highway, no traffic at all. Rafi was concentrated in last post parade about which he discussed to one of the instructors on the previous day,

(There is a myth among the army staffs when they practice the last post they use to get the news about someone’s death in that area so they use to make the practice in jungle)

 After may be 1 km of walk a qualis came from behind slightly kissed my clothes and BAAAAANG!!!! Hit rafi just 4 meters in front of us. The car was in tremendous speed .

The car hit him with its side mirror and he was pulled up to the air and hit the fore glass with his head and made a spider web crack on the glass, then fell on the clean black road with his both legs inside the back tire… the driver applied sudden break and sound and the burnt smell of the tire are there in my mind even now after 5 years from that day. But that break helped rafi from the vehicle run over his legs. He lost the skin completely from the lower part of his legs.

Next second we ran towards him and we could see the blood pumping from head, legs elbow every where. The car hadn’t ran away the family inside too came out. we didn’t waste time for useless arguments, decided to reach the hospital as quick as possible. When we lifted his thin body we had no idea what the condition our friend had then. Balu and I decided to go to the hospital, asif and mammali stayed with the girls. Who were in dismay after this incident and almost collapsed….

By now we are all standing on pin point waiting outside the room. Balu came out after giving blood. No one was talking, how fast the things have changed dramatically. Jovial and fun making time slipped in to great dilemma, the family was well coping up with us. We were all worried about rafi and what answer we will give to his family and to the camp if something happens for him. The worst thought was, we came together in a compartment and what if we have to carry him back in a box????? Chaotic and nail biting seconds were passing.

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Finally the doctor opened the door, we ran towards him but micro seconds were like hours it took 5 or six years to complete 4 steps and to reach to the doctor. He said it was a close miss if head goes inside the tire instead of legs. And now it is just a shock. He lost lot of skin and blood that is why it looked horrible when we carried him to the hospitall and they dressed up all the wounds and we can take him after sometimes. What a moment of relief it was. From the volcano to the North Pole in a second.

The family left after sometimes giving their contacts .and we took rafi to the camp with bundle of clothes all over his body. With red patches in between. Telling some stories and get rid off from the punishments from the camp was nothing comparing to the tension we had in those 2 hours from the time of accident to the time we left the hospital…

But bloody Rafi taken chance and used his wound dressing and blood patches to gain sympathy and to find a place in that gujju girl’s heart. But we blocked all such moves with nail and teeth. “We suffered all the tensions and he is benefiting from it??????? NO WAY…………………….

THE END

A SMALL LOVE STORY

I had a good friend during my school time SALEESH. We were getting almost same scores in exams (now don’t stare on the previous line, it’s not because of the similarity of our names and it was not because we were sitting together for the exam, ‘SATHYAM’.

            In the high school I was trapped in a division with tigers and dotted tigers of studies (all animals no human in the class). I fought in the first year then I found there is no point in studying like this and getting good score, the education is not to get good marks it is to win the life, to get experience in life, there is nothing to do with digits like 49/50 or 48/50, what if u know Newton’s laws word by word and don’t know its practical use?????? So I decided let the greedy score hunters run and run …..I will stay back

‘’WOW!! U R JUST INCREDIBLE, SALIN…...I AM PROUD OF U……’’

            After having this ‘BODHODAYAM’’ my rank fell straight to 23^rd (no problem 2+3=5 still my lucky number). Stones from all over but they don’t know I am leaving others to come forward. (After all ‘ENIKK BODHODAYAM UNDAYATH IVAR ARUM ARINJILLALO’) we can’t blame them. But SALEESH continued to get good scores.

            Anyway that year also passed and we reached the paramount 10^th standard. Wow SSLC. During that year SALEESH fell deeply in love with one of our juniors (yea yea one sided) flowers falling from sky, background music …. All together ‘ORU NJERI PORI SANJARAM’ she was the most beautiful girl in the school (!!!!! FOR HIM!!!!!!) . He was doing anything and everything a 14 year old boy can do to get her attraction, and finally he decided to express his love in the most effective way and I supported him with clap ‘ Sending a love letter to her address’

            He wrote the letter in the blue inland with all sweet honey words to describe her (which girl in the world doesn’t like to get praised??????) by reading that letters even my mouth was filled with water. I was afraid the letter will be vanished by the ants if it stays more days in the red letter box .he ended the letter with his name as SAL and 5 dots like  SAL….. (rule number 1 in love letter writing , use  pet name only then she will feel like calling ‘KUTTA , CHAKKARE , KALLA…’by looking at the letter ) also he said she had started to give a look and smile at him so she will understand it is her SALEESHETTAN

           

            One day passed two days passed three days passed fourth day I got a call from Matilda teacher (class leader’s responsibilities  ... I hate it I hate it) she was waiting under a tree in the school compound along with another teacher. They were not wearing a pleasant face, when I was getting closer I saw a blue paper in her hand (ITH NJAN EVIDEYO KANDITUNDELLO…. Yes exactly the certificate of love) but why she is calling me? May be for the investigation or to make sure that it’s him…. No I am not going to tell his name. I will not betray my friend ‘ITH SATHYAM SATHYAM SATHYAM’ 

            I reached close to them and straight away took the defensive position. I don’t need to explain what is that position since we all had our school time – ‘’KAI KETTI THALA 45 DEGREE THAZHOT CHERICH ….exactly that’s it

The trail starts……….

Hope u know what is it??? Showing the blue letter

I expressed the wonder on my face….

The trail finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now advise session

How dare u sent this letter????? If u r coming to study ,do that just 14 years and already start to send the love letters? (May be there is an age barrier to start to send the love letters, I didn’t know) then turning to the other teacher “see he even wrote his name down showing SAL”

(Now I got they thought by seeing SAL it’s me, but why ??? how come?????? In my own opinion, I am the most innocent student in school. )

Then she start to show my progress reports from top 5 to bottom 5 and just pass in her subject (hey teacher how can u expect me to study when I have this kind of business to deal with???????) then I tried to convince this is not me and I am not stupid to send love letter to home that too by putting the name… here comes the next question “so u are hesitated to send a letter to home, you don’t mind to give it by hand?? CID MATILDA TEACHER BSC, B.ED. So without any investigation that letter came on my head finding the reason I am getting low scores nowadays and this is why I am slipping from studies…..

“Scores in the exam is inversely proportional to intensity of love” Matilda teacher’s first law of love (est. 1999)

            By hearing all the things happening under the tree our story hero (kadha nayakan) came for my rescue , he took the responsibility of the letter and confessed , but for our surprise the teacher said “ may be you are good friends but you don’t have to take this issue on you . You are scoring good marks keep doing that and don’t come to these kind of things”

            Finally the letter became mine.

Note: there was nothing to do with my name even in SALEESH’s last thoughts when he wrote SAL.

           

A PERFECT CHAMMAL

It was an ugly morning I had to get up very early and I couldn't help myself to avoid taking an umbrella. It was the day when I went to Kannur University for collecting my provisional certificate, for some reason I got delayed in collecting so none of my bloody friends gave company to come with me. Hmmmm.. It was about 9.30 I reached mangattu paramb usity centre. Rainy day gradually I was also going dull. I was in a queue to take Chelan just biting my nails scratching head and stamping foot... u know exactly what all things we will do in a boring queue.

          that's the time I saw her walking towards the queue , she was tall very good looking, well dressed and the way she walks anyone can say without doubt she is smart and confident .I don't remember whether my mouth was a bit open or not, "MANASIL ORU LADDU POTTI" beta salin, u r lucky that none of ur friends came with u.... hehe. Back to the point, she came, took the Chelan form, looked around and came to me, (KOOTATHIL SUNDARAN NJAN MATHRAM AYIRUNNALLO) and asked for helping her to fill up the form. She too came to collect provisional certificate, ( ORU FORM ILL CHEYYAN POLUM ARIYATHA IVAL ENGANE DEGREE PASS AYI ???)

          From the office we got instruction to wait till 3.30 in the eve, oh god, it's raining heavily so we have to stay there itself till eve. Ok we decided to break the ice, we introduced ourselves her name was ....... nambiar ( same cast so parents NE KALYANAM KAZHICHU THARAN ETHIRP ONNUM UNDAVILLA, PINNE HEIGHT she was about 5'9" no problem I am 5'11"  I can ask her not to use high heels after marg,........perfect match)

          She was really smart and we talked about current affairs, college life, politics and all, slowly our topic came to sports (it's always with me) heard she was member of university kabadi and hockey teams.  Eureka!!!! She is in sports that means she is not very good in studies (usually that's what happens when u concentrate on sports u will slip Ur mind from studies) I too said about my sports activities lack of attendance in the class (I got 17 days attendance in final year of my degree) kalari and a lot. When she came to know my major subject was physics she showed wonder, oh physics , tuff subject and without attendance u must have worked hard to clear.

          TYPICAL VATAKARA PADAYALI SADA KUDANJ EZHUNNETU. oh this is nothing, concentrate on what u do, if sports concentrate on, it if studies, keep ur mind only on studies, u can achieve anything, not a big deal I managed to get 66% and I have 6 percent grace mark for sports so I will get 71% (after all she is from sports 70% JEEVITHATHIL ITH VARE KANDITUNDAVILLA.... poor girl). I was dominating and my tung was working like the padaval of MR. Thacholi Othenan,i should admit she was a very good listener...I didn't ask anything about her degree subjects , why to ask ETHENKILUM ART SUBJECT AYIRIKKUM  just to attend college. She said she too have 7 % grace mark for sports (lady, did I ask you?????)By the way we became good friends

          After lunch we moved to university sports centre close by, we have some known teachers there. We were getting warm welcome (does the temperature for her reception was a bit high?????hey salin, ASOOYA PADILLA, neglect it). Then she starts to give sweets for her friends. Oh! PAREEKSHA ENGANE ENKILUM KADANN KOODIYATHINTE AUM ALLENKIL CHILAPPAM BIRTHDAY AUM. Anyway I too got laddu , I asked ,  hey u didn't tell its Ur birthday, she said it's not for that, ORU PUCHA SWARATHIL NJAN CHODICHU ,  PINNE ENTHA EXAM CLEAR AYATHINTE ANO??? She said yes with a very very cute smile...

          That time one of our physical education teacher said it's not only for passing exam, but passing exam with the first rank in the university.........................

Oh god 96 % in bsc micro biology with no place to put her extra 7 % grace mark..............